/b/ — Off Topic

>>3mvj5ievjlc2e
mhm! i scalded the milk and just let some chopped pieces of ginger steep in there

>>3mvhes3lc2u2n
Can I have some or is it too late

>>3mvklpc3skk2c
sowwy i have to take the last two to class since this was recipe testing for that... i can post the recipe later tho. it's pretty simple

>>3mvkodqgsj72j
ok here. all "oz" measurements are weight unless otherwise specified
GINGER FLAN:
equipment: 2 sauce pans, whisk, sieve/strainer, ramequins/other cups or whatever to bake them in, measuring cups n stuff, a deep baking pan

ingredients
3 egg yolks
1 egg
1 14oz/396g can of sweetened condensed milk
milk, enough to fill 3/4 of that can
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
pinch salt
1-2 tbsp roughly chopped fresh ginger depending on how strong you want it

for the caramel:
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup water

1. Cook water and sugar until it darkens and forms a caramel, than pour a thin layer in the bottom of your cups.
2. Mix egg, salt, vanilla, condensed milk in a bowl, but do not whip.
3. Bring the whole milk and ginger to a simmer and let it steep for a bit. Strain the ginger out, then temper the milk into the egg mixture.
4. Pour your custard into the cups. Put the cups in a deep pan and fill the pan with hot water, up to about the level of the custard.
5. Bake 300F for 1 hour, then remove from oven and allow to cool to room temperature before covering and refrigerating for 24 hours.
6. Unmold and have yummies treat

Home sick today. Made millet topped with slab of butter and maple syrup

I like fashion a lot but I have never been able to really engage in it. Briefly I had a few really nice black dresses with schoolgirl-style collars but I kind of looked like a boy (positive) at the time I owned them and my abusive ex eventually threw them away.

I save a lot of "real people" clothing though here and there for the same reason I save anime references — I think the clothes are cool.

Kind of obsessed with the Combination Capelet-Tunic...

Belt-and-Zipper ass Final Fantasy fit.
It looks so cool but also I think it would be uncomfortable to wear and I think the bleached natural fabric is a strange color choice for it, but damned if it doesn't cool.

I do not think they've ever made a uniform cooler than the North Korean traffic cop uniform.

I bought a band shirt back in july thats order was cancelled and refunded and then shipped to me twice. I find this very amusing with the context of waiting on a DID assessment clinic to get back to me and not having done this intentionally.

I am a certified "Opossum Ambassador" after joining the Opossum Society of the United States.

They are my favorite and I love them.
They are capable of looking fierce.
They are capable of looking sweet.
I know many cute facts about them because I have loved them for many years.

>>3muvk7ymugc2p
I think Opossum are really cute. I have a memory of one climbing through an apple tree onto the roof by my bedroom window and staring at me in the night eating an apple. Is it true they eat that many ticks, or was that a misrepresentation due to a flawed science test? I like that they play dead. I don't know many facts about them.

My favorite animal is the hare, but everyone knows what a hare is.

My favourite bird is the bearded vulture, or lammergeier.

They eat primarily bones, and drop them on rocks to shatter them and pick out the marrow. They dye themselves red with mud by dustbathing on the cliffs they live on, and have bright red eyes. They remind me of skeksis from the dark crystal, I think they are cool and funny in a muppety way.

Here's a nice webpage with lots more pictures: https://4vultures.org/vultures/bearded-vulture/

Wikipedia:
"The bearded vulture is the only known vertebrate whose diet consists of 70–90% bone."
"The Greek playwright Aeschylus was said to have been killed in 456 or 455 BC by a tortoise dropped by an eagle who mistook his bald head for a stone. If this incident did occur, the bearded vulture is a likely candidate for the "eagle" in this story."
"In Tibet, corpses are fed to this vulture. The rite is called a "sky burial" and is accompanied by prayers and mantras for the deceased person. There is a specialist assigned to this task which occurs high in the mountains where the vultures swoop down to eat the bones. The birds are blessed too. They are called "jagod" in the Tibetan language."

>>3muwfffronk24
So, it is generally agreed that the "Opossums Eat Many Ticks" study is skewed data. They have the capacity to eat many ticks, but if I remember correctly, they determined that this was laboratory bias through the unavailability of other food options, and to contest the narrative the previous study established, they did a scat study on opossums and found that most did not contain tick matter.

I didn't not know the natural coloration of the lammergeier was not that rusty red color, and that this is basically make-up they apply.

That's so metal.

Rhineura floridana

Fiddler crab

>>3mvesgovrel2o
Food advertising characters are always so fun

>>3mvezfej37c2m
Boy Bawang has a special place in my garlic-shaped heart

>>3mvezfej37c2m
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8Y7hN2RIAw have you ever heard this boy bawang radio spot, it's immaculated

>>3mvezzhziac2m
truly shouted out loud YES!! upon seeing this. I LOVE BOY BAWANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm a fan of the botan rice candy baby myself.

>>3mupksqv4sv2x
is your lock screen background that one porpentine game

>>3mupojyhnl72c
Yes, thank you.

syvlie we respect you the way one should

>>3murdgbfaks2z
in response to this sylvie went "mm-hmm!" in a kind of triumphant way

i value sylvie

>>3mrgnapedw22c
hey i recognize that statue

bunny

most important ''"Brick""

im very angry at the fact that my friend has a bunny and i dont

i wish i knew someone irl with a bunny...

>>3muuxdqkep222
thank u its our second life squat

I sometimes play 'Warframe' - I roleplay as a decaying Grineer clone styled off the concept art for the Grineer Ballista.

>>3muuygzenrs22
this is pretty,,

been hanging out in gmod listening to music while i edit ren'py

>>3muypsk7eas2g
yoooooooo thats cozy af

my senior citizen can't possibly be this cute!

some kind of life form

Hello - I have experienced some negative headspaces / lifestyles in the past, because there was a year I'd spent homeless fleeing abuse and I return from it kind of weird.

If you find yourself chronically online or gaming, as one occasionally does, I would consider making a cute "To Do List" of things you want to be better at doing daily and making it your wallpaper / lockscreen. You'll have chronic exposure to it between tasks, and that can be good.

During that weird recovery period, I also had a really big whiteboard that I was able to score from a discard pile at a scrapyard. That was also very good because I put it behind my computer and would just write tasks on it as I went. Erasing / striking tasks that I accomplished also felt very fulfilling.

Having some degree of fun with it is also helpful. If you find, for example, that you dislike bathing - try a bubblebath. Get agere with it. Feed your sense of fun and wonder.

With regard to meals, if you find yourself eating poorly, I would suggest getting like, two or three lean cuisine instant meals, or some $2.50 cans of soup and a rice-cooker. You can add rice to watery soups to make them heavier and more-filling. You can add frozen veggies, butter, and an egg to leftover rice and make fried rice. If you're too tired to cook, lean cuisine is generally pretty okay for you.

Try to get out a little, too.
If you can go for a walk, or take a bus to meet a friend, or get a library card and check out books, please do.
Breaking monotony is good, and proximity to alternatives means a lot if you find yourself feeling isolated or tempted to bedrot.

When my abuse was at its peak in Japan, I used to spend $2.50 to buy stale bread and feed pigeons. It kept me out of my house, it made me feel good and like I was nurturing something, and it was something I could do in an hour with a bit of walking.

I'm sorry things have been hard for you.

>>3muprmifqea22
Oh! Also, once-daily gummy multivitamin, moisturizer, and a facial cleanser.

If you struggle with brushing your teeth, keep two tooth-brushes - one by your bed with a cup, and one in the bathroom with everything else.

Oftentimes, you are tired, and the temptation to sleep outweighs the commitment to brush. If they're co-located a little on your nightstand, you can build better habits.

doubles of everything is huge, i keep my pills both in my purse and by the bed, toothbrush by upstairs and downstairs, water bottle up and downstairs and in my purse. doing stuff just plain wrong and different is fine if it gets you to do it. 2 laundry baskets one for "too lazy to fold/not dirty enough to wash" and one for "gross im not wearing that again." they have face wash you can just put on and wipe off no water involved (i hate getting my face wet). i hate washing dishes but i can live with it if i wear gloves and listen to music really loud. habits are good but hacks and cheating can be even more effective. also ditto getting out of the house is big, and having some kind of skill that you are really invested in practicing, learning japanese fixed my brain in a lot of ways cuz it feels like i can do anything now

i've found that meditation and exercise give me more energy than i put in, and they're kind of self perpetuating things . they're something i want to do and thats something i try to find back to when im doing poorly. would recommend

tripling down on getting out of the house/meditation/exercise. was kicked out as a kid, kidnapped for a while, returned to live as an adult carer of a parent until very recently, stunted development and very ill equipped at most normal social things, extremely easily depressed and inactive. i find that motivation is not something you have but something you have to build up and keep the momentum of it going. the only thing that has reliably made me feel better and more human/normal is being physically around other people who are acknowledging you are there, just the feedback that you are being perceived in a way where you witness a variety of 'normal' 'well-adjusted people' attempting the same task, ideally working in parallel toward a shared goal; exercise classes are amazing for this, any sort of club where you all discuss your thoughts on an experience, even just hanging out in a group, etc. trying to self-improve or be a better person without doing that part just made me absolutely insanely miserable. helping something or someone else makes you feel so nice right away, though.

for skincare, there is a TON of information online, EVERYONE is trying to sell you something and companies make money off of you feeling insecure. any kind of cheap unscented bland facewash and moisturizer/sunscreen is good enough. If you do want to go down the rabbit hole further, I recommend 'The Science of Beauty' by Michelle Wong. I lost many years of insecurity and a lot of money sunk into skincare and it's not even a fun hobby most of the time, so don't let it get its hooks in you in a bad way.

Kero-chan unrelated

I was showing someone my collection of books in The Familiar series by Mark Z. Danielewski. This was a person who had already read House of Leaves and I was like, "hey, did you know he wrote these books as well? They're unfinished because it wasn't economically feasible; for practical and thematic reasons I wish he wrote it as a webnovel."

"Dreams where I just explain what I feel about something to someone" has become somewhat of a theme lately for some reason.

i tend to not remember much of dreams. i think i was swinging a halberd around recently, to what end i don't recall.

Woke at 2:34AM from a nightmare.
In my dream, I lived in some kind of post-apocalyptic collective. We would all pool resources.

There was an androgynous young man who would show up to trade with us, but we were wary of eachother. I thought he was very beautiful, and I remarked as much to another woman.

He wore a mask that concealed his nose and mouth, We called him "Schrödinger" because sometimes he was here and sometimes he wasn't.

Apparently, what could be given to Schrödinger was demarcated by like, a line on the floor. We would push what we wanted to given Schrödinger on one side of a line, and he would take it, and push what he had to the other side and leave, so we could take it.

This time, though, he took far more than what was set across the line. Everyone was kind of outraged, to include me. I spoke to the young girl I had previously been speaking to about Schrödinger's beauty, and she said, "He knows better. We've only ever given him what's been set across the line. It's always been the line. He stole."

I went and I spoke to Schrödinger and I told him that what he'd done had hurt the faith of the people I lived with.

He pulled his mouth-cover over his eyes like a blindfold and he began to roll a few canned goods back over the line. I asked why he'd done it, and suggested that I could talk to the other people about giving him more if he needed it, but that he shouldn't just take it.

He told me that we wouldn't be needing as much as we were holding onto — because we'd been purchased as livestock to produce meat. An immense dread washed over me, and I told him that it was disgusting, to manipulate our trust like that.

Schrödinger said "It's just a little secret to be fed in the dark, like yours — I know you weren't born a girl, but I can tell you have a capacity to nurture. This is why you get to go to childrearing even though you're effectively barren, and not just be eaten like the men."

>>3mup6fjxs2l2c

I told Schrödinger that I was not grateful for his 'charitable' interpretation of my gender identity, and he said that this is not what he was implying — I was a woman — but rather his very clinical assessment on my capacity to nurture no more, no less.

I awoke in a feverish sweat as armed escorts began separating us onto gender-segregated moving trucks

I really don't dream a lot? When I do it's nonsense, maybe because I'm too aware of what they are? Maybe it's just my bad emotional range. I'm always just a passive observer or a guy in a random context walking around and just don't feel all that connected to the situation at hand? Often I'm places I've been or frameworks I understand but even then it doesn't really have any particular natural flow to it most of the time, I think the amount of coherent dreams I remember having is actually in the single digits, maybe five of them or so

Don Carlos Villagrande

phoenix zaza hotfeathers

Deleuzian "Wobble-Wobble" McGregor

Toes Meatfeel.

Veronica Death-Rage.

i think i was groomed into fucking my childhood dog but it's too much for me to unpack, the dog died like 2 years ago, felt guilty for him all this time. I think he got his rest, he hadn't let me pet him for many years, but right before he died he let me hold him and stroke his back. I'm not attracted to dogs or animals in any sense, people online sometimes say "in order to be a furry, you have to have some zoophilia thoughts" and it triggers my trauma from this situation.

whenever i see another girl happier/prettier than me i wish they would die

Whenever there's a water fountain, I'll sometimes divide the cups into two stacks so I can take one from the middle

>>3mtrawfg6uk2h
Like some others in this thread, I'm into kids, but I don't really feel guilty for that. I don't believe that it's a bad inclination, or intrinsically harmful in practice, and I don't feel motivation to pursue involvement with them (I'm sure it would be much worse for me if I were not into adults at all). I think it's sort of a good thing to have a clear and permanent reminder of how pervasive irrational moralistic cruelty is among people.

Things I do feel guilty for: basically every relationship with a girl I've been in that ended or that I really wanted to make work and that ultimately didn't. I always feel like I used her. Sometimes I think about getting back in touch and write a long apology message, but I always decide that sending it would be the selfish thing. I'm talking about multiple girls, so either the pattern is that I blame myself too much, or the pattern is that I actually do mistreat people. I guess this is a vague description. Looking down on someone's viewpoints, leaving or acting out emotionally or cheating when I couldn't get sex, failing to take care of someone financially, thinking I could fix someone…

Other things:
I feel horrible for every time I've let myself justify acting out of anger. I remember when I was a kid throwing a cat that had broken my chess pieces and telling myself it was OK to do that because animals don't have souls. And I feel bad for how naturally lazy I am, how it feels like it takes immense effort for me to do anything for another person (or even myself), whereas some people it seems to come naturally to.

>>3mtygedhjb22x
When I see really skinny girls I imagine snapping them in half like a twig.

>>3mugojit7ik2h
Yeah, I don't personally feel guilty about it most of the time, only times I really do is just rough days looking for ways to feel bad about myself by projecting societal cruelty onto myself.
Maybe this wasn't the right thread for it but it's nice to let something like this out, especially venting my frustrations with the way a huge majority of people seem comfortable completely dehumanizing us, seeming to lose any and all empathy.
I don't think our attraction is an inherently bad thing, and I don't even really believe that 'objective' evil (or 'objective' anything for that matter) exists. It's just another type of attraction, I think the vast majority of us aren't rapists or abusers, actually.
But because of how demonized it is, pushback on the downright fascist sweeping rhetoric people have against the spectre of 'the pedophile' will probably never be accepted on a wide scale without huge change.
I have at least seen an increasing number of online spaces (this could be just my own bias accepting this stuff about myself fairly recently) that seem to understand or at least be more sympathetic to us. (at least, before they are harassed off the platform...)
Yadda yadda yadda disgust holds no ethical weight yadda yadda yadda wisdom of repugnance etc.

I am sexually aroused by the hypno cube.

no

not since one appeared before me in such a sinister style!

when i sip a beverage i let it sit on my tongue and then i let it drain down the sides and back my throat. i feel like i can taste it better that way. this is really bad to do with soda because you're giving your teeth an acid bath. now my teeth are bad

>>3mtk5b73qhv2u
hi hanekawa

>>3mtk4qo3dif2u
this sounds so fun lol i wanna do try it

>>3mtk5b73qhv2u
i do like the same but inverted version of this where i try to eat the exact same portion of everything in every bite and finish everything at the same time

>>3mtk5tlkfjn2u
I have certain foods I do this with, burgers and fries particularly.

>>3mtk5cjxd3v2u
fuck i need to watch the rest of monogatari lol

I like to do this vertical thing with ice cream and also cake it's fun