/b/ — Off Topic

if you can't directly reduce the work and stress in your life it helps to get better at dealing with said stress so it doesn't become the thing that occupies your time.

my usual remedy is to institute habits of meditation, exercise (you have to find a way that works for you - my drug is running) and devotion. when i find myself feeling overwhelmed by stress, i've usually neglected one of them. . these may not all be palatable to you.

if the clinical way is your style, you could try seeing a specialist. there are some that specialize in workload management. there is medication. not to dissuade you - i personally found this pursuit useless because my problem came from within and it was something i had to work on with utter self love

best of luck

>>3msttushzie22
thank you for your response! it's definitely more a problem within myself than it is with my workload, so idk if the clinical path will help much either. i think that part will improve once i can find a better job.

i'd be rly curious to hear you talk a bit more about devotion and how it helps for you. exercise would definitely be good i think - there's lots of forest trails near my apartment that i should be utilizing. meditation is something i've tried a few times too but i've never been able to get into a consistent rhythm with it. i'd like to try practicing that more also.

I've historically struggled with a lot of stuff and am presently struggling a little with the fact that I have an "every single day" course load-out at the college I am presently attending, and that it requires a two-ish hour commute every day to get there and back.

The way I'm handling it is I am organizing the work visually by deadline on my dorky whiteboard, which helps me know what the work is, and frankly, gives me a small sense of confidence when I erase a task.

Frequently, I am coming home tired from leaving at 5:00 AM and arriving home at 3:00-5:00PM depending on which day I am there. I am taking the loss there and just sleeping mid-day so I feel better. I timed it and an hour or two fixes me right up, usually.

I am committing about an hour or two to a task while I work. When I reach a point where I feel I am deeply disinterested, I am rotating into drawing or socializing with friends for a moment, and then I come back to it. This has been helpful because sometimes I hate my artwork if I spend too much time looking at it, and I certainly hate my tasks if I spent too much time looking at it.

Having a rotation helps me not hate either.

Meditation in the shower.
Yummy sourdough toast.
Doing something to emotionally stimulate yourself.

There are lots of little ways to keep your head above water and make small spaces for things you love.

nvm this game pisses me off

i'm just getting into the art. don't know a thing about layering and pretty much just spray samplers on whenever i'm feeling a bit high brow. i think i tend to like things that ride the line between ordinary and avant garde but i know that's not very helpful. um. white musk and vetiver. sometimes oud. gourmands are okay if they're a bit spicy.
my favorite of all time is probably clandestine laboratories' "ashes." it came to me in a very harrowing time in my life - i was close to dropping out of school, my childhood cat has just died, and though we didn't cremate her it always felt like her when i put it on. felt like the moment in a visual novel where somebody explains shrodinger's cat and you realize ghosts are real. does that make sense. i had to give the bottle to a friend so that it didn't entirely ruin my life. i hope she found a way to do it justice.

in the future i'd like to try some of the agar olfactory <https://agarolfactory.com/> stuff - the concepts seem very cute to me. need to find a good opopanax scent too.

>>3mvzya5k2ej2e
that makes complete sense, thank you for sharing your story. passing things onto others when they're too heavy to hold yourself is always sweet :)

Woke at 2:34AM from a nightmare.
In my dream, I lived in some kind of post-apocalyptic collective. We would all pool resources.

There was an androgynous young man who would show up to trade with us, but we were wary of eachother. I thought he was very beautiful, and I remarked as much to another woman.

He wore a mask that concealed his nose and mouth, We called him "Schrödinger" because sometimes he was here and sometimes he wasn't.

Apparently, what could be given to Schrödinger was demarcated by like, a line on the floor. We would push what we wanted to given Schrödinger on one side of a line, and he would take it, and push what he had to the other side and leave, so we could take it.

This time, though, he took far more than what was set across the line. Everyone was kind of outraged, to include me. I spoke to the young girl I had previously been speaking to about Schrödinger's beauty, and she said, "He knows better. We've only ever given him what's been set across the line. It's always been the line. He stole."

I went and I spoke to Schrödinger and I told him that what he'd done had hurt the faith of the people I lived with.

He pulled his mouth-cover over his eyes like a blindfold and he began to roll a few canned goods back over the line. I asked why he'd done it, and suggested that I could talk to the other people about giving him more if he needed it, but that he shouldn't just take it.

He told me that we wouldn't be needing as much as we were holding onto — because we'd been purchased as livestock to produce meat. An immense dread washed over me, and I told him that it was disgusting, to manipulate our trust like that.

Schrödinger said "It's just a little secret to be fed in the dark, like yours — I know you weren't born a girl, but I can tell you have a capacity to nurture. This is why you get to go to childrearing even though you're effectively barren, and not just be eaten like the men."

>>3mup6fjxs2l2c

I told Schrödinger that I was not grateful for his 'charitable' interpretation of my gender identity, and he said that this is not what he was implying — I was a woman — but rather his very clinical assessment on my capacity to nurture no more, no less.

I awoke in a feverish sweat as armed escorts began separating us onto gender-segregated moving trucks

I really don't dream a lot? When I do it's nonsense, maybe because I'm too aware of what they are? Maybe it's just my bad emotional range. I'm always just a passive observer or a guy in a random context walking around and just don't feel all that connected to the situation at hand? Often I'm places I've been or frameworks I understand but even then it doesn't really have any particular natural flow to it most of the time, I think the amount of coherent dreams I remember having is actually in the single digits, maybe five of them or so

last night i dreamt that disney hired me to make a licensed watamote game for the wii. it followed tomoko as a junior in american high school after she'd already made a few friends. the gameplay mostly consisted of "run around and complete quests and minigames in a 3d environment", except everything was summer themed and you played as tomoko kuroki. she would draw the disney channel logo during every loading screen. i recall wanting to take the story in a darker direction after tomoko realizes something about yu when they go on a Suite Life on Deck cruise, but the higher-ups weren't very enthusiastic about it.

last night I dreamt I was with my friend Rainer, my main person for enjoying literature alongside. We were at a dinner hosted in the recently discovered private library of some recluse who'd just died. We shared a table with some Chinese undergrads. They were very sharp and funny and we were planning to continue hanging out with them after the dinner. Then another friend came through and passed us an herb called Clearing Clearingbreath. It didn't taste like anything except it gave the sensation of inhaling cool air.

Belt-and-Zipper ass Final Fantasy fit.
It looks so cool but also I think it would be uncomfortable to wear and I think the bleached natural fabric is a strange color choice for it, but damned if it doesn't cool.

I do not think they've ever made a uniform cooler than the North Korean traffic cop uniform.

I bought a band shirt back in july thats order was cancelled and refunded and then shipped to me twice. I find this very amusing with the context of waiting on a DID assessment clinic to get back to me and not having done this intentionally.

Red velvet mite brooch (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2u9Kp563TE)

Unfortunately for me, I do not know how to sew

>>3mvw66cpbas2u
so cute! in Pali this bug's called indagopaka "indra's watchman"

Home sick today. Made millet topped with slab of butter and maple syrup

>>3mvnlvoryvk2e
looks delicious. w fall approaching maybe its time for me to get on the millet grind. ive been on barley and split peas lately but ive been looking for a new grain

baking allowed here? i made spiral cookies @u@

>>3mvr3jf5nmc2w
it's not the most inspiring texture. it's like a starchy lumpier oatmeal. im a larper at heart tho. i think it's so cool this was what a lot of asians and asia minors were eating before rice took over

>>3mvsqqjbxcl24
this looks the bomb -- would!

u guys like necco? im not even sure what they taste like... licorice maybe?

>>3mvspmzuzyd24
necco is the best it gets imo

>>3mvsvlfozmd24
they have different flaveys the black ones are licorice i think and the brown ones are cola and i dont really know about the rest but they're for sure different

who up for eating desert choco by the block

I am a certified "Opossum Ambassador" after joining the Opossum Society of the United States.

They are my favorite and I love them.
They are capable of looking fierce.
They are capable of looking sweet.
I know many cute facts about them because I have loved them for many years.

>>3muvk7ymugc2p
I think Opossum are really cute. I have a memory of one climbing through an apple tree onto the roof by my bedroom window and staring at me in the night eating an apple. Is it true they eat that many ticks, or was that a misrepresentation due to a flawed science test? I like that they play dead. I don't know many facts about them.

My favorite animal is the hare, but everyone knows what a hare is.

My favourite bird is the bearded vulture, or lammergeier.

They eat primarily bones, and drop them on rocks to shatter them and pick out the marrow. They dye themselves red with mud by dustbathing on the cliffs they live on, and have bright red eyes. They remind me of skeksis from the dark crystal, I think they are cool and funny in a muppety way.

Here's a nice webpage with lots more pictures: https://4vultures.org/vultures/bearded-vulture/

Wikipedia:
"The bearded vulture is the only known vertebrate whose diet consists of 70–90% bone."
"The Greek playwright Aeschylus was said to have been killed in 456 or 455 BC by a tortoise dropped by an eagle who mistook his bald head for a stone. If this incident did occur, the bearded vulture is a likely candidate for the "eagle" in this story."
"In Tibet, corpses are fed to this vulture. The rite is called a "sky burial" and is accompanied by prayers and mantras for the deceased person. There is a specialist assigned to this task which occurs high in the mountains where the vultures swoop down to eat the bones. The birds are blessed too. They are called "jagod" in the Tibetan language."

>>3muwfffronk24
So, it is generally agreed that the "Opossums Eat Many Ticks" study is skewed data. They have the capacity to eat many ticks, but if I remember correctly, they determined that this was laboratory bias through the unavailability of other food options, and to contest the narrative the previous study established, they did a scat study on opossums and found that most did not contain tick matter.

I didn't not know the natural coloration of the lammergeier was not that rusty red color, and that this is basically make-up they apply.

That's so metal.

Rhineura floridana

Fiddler crab

>>3mupksqv4sv2x
is your lock screen background that one porpentine game

>>3mupojyhnl72c
Yes, thank you.

syvlie we respect you the way one should

>>3murdgbfaks2z
in response to this sylvie went "mm-hmm!" in a kind of triumphant way

i value sylvie

>>3mrgnapedw22c
hey i recognize that statue

bunny

most important ''"Brick""

im very angry at the fact that my friend has a bunny and i dont

i wish i knew someone irl with a bunny...

>>3muuxdqkep222
thank u its our second life squat

I sometimes play 'Warframe' - I roleplay as a decaying Grineer clone styled off the concept art for the Grineer Ballista.

>>3muuygzenrs22
this is pretty,,

been hanging out in gmod listening to music while i edit ren'py

>>3muypsk7eas2g
yoooooooo thats cozy af

some kind of life form

If someone knows anything about recovering from the physical damage lacking those habits causes, that'd also be really helpful

Hello - I have experienced some negative headspaces / lifestyles in the past, because there was a year I'd spent homeless fleeing abuse and I return from it kind of weird.

If you find yourself chronically online or gaming, as one occasionally does, I would consider making a cute "To Do List" of things you want to be better at doing daily and making it your wallpaper / lockscreen. You'll have chronic exposure to it between tasks, and that can be good.

During that weird recovery period, I also had a really big whiteboard that I was able to score from a discard pile at a scrapyard. That was also very good because I put it behind my computer and would just write tasks on it as I went. Erasing / striking tasks that I accomplished also felt very fulfilling.

Having some degree of fun with it is also helpful. If you find, for example, that you dislike bathing - try a bubblebath. Get agere with it. Feed your sense of fun and wonder.

With regard to meals, if you find yourself eating poorly, I would suggest getting like, two or three lean cuisine instant meals, or some $2.50 cans of soup and a rice-cooker. You can add rice to watery soups to make them heavier and more-filling. You can add frozen veggies, butter, and an egg to leftover rice and make fried rice. If you're too tired to cook, lean cuisine is generally pretty okay for you.

Try to get out a little, too.
If you can go for a walk, or take a bus to meet a friend, or get a library card and check out books, please do.
Breaking monotony is good, and proximity to alternatives means a lot if you find yourself feeling isolated or tempted to bedrot.

When my abuse was at its peak in Japan, I used to spend $2.50 to buy stale bread and feed pigeons. It kept me out of my house, it made me feel good and like I was nurturing something, and it was something I could do in an hour with a bit of walking.

I'm sorry things have been hard for you.

>>3muprmifqea22
Oh! Also, once-daily gummy multivitamin, moisturizer, and a facial cleanser.

If you struggle with brushing your teeth, keep two tooth-brushes - one by your bed with a cup, and one in the bathroom with everything else.

Oftentimes, you are tired, and the temptation to sleep outweighs the commitment to brush. If they're co-located a little on your nightstand, you can build better habits.

doubles of everything is huge, i keep my pills both in my purse and by the bed, toothbrush by upstairs and downstairs, water bottle up and downstairs and in my purse. doing stuff just plain wrong and different is fine if it gets you to do it. 2 laundry baskets one for "too lazy to fold/not dirty enough to wash" and one for "gross im not wearing that again." they have face wash you can just put on and wipe off no water involved (i hate getting my face wet). i hate washing dishes but i can live with it if i wear gloves and listen to music really loud. habits are good but hacks and cheating can be even more effective. also ditto getting out of the house is big, and having some kind of skill that you are really invested in practicing, learning japanese fixed my brain in a lot of ways cuz it feels like i can do anything now

i've found that meditation and exercise give me more energy than i put in, and they're kind of self perpetuating things . they're something i want to do and thats something i try to find back to when im doing poorly. would recommend

Don Carlos Villagrande

phoenix zaza hotfeathers

Deleuzian "Wobble-Wobble" McGregor

Toes Meatfeel.

Veronica Death-Rage.

i think i was groomed into fucking my childhood dog but it's too much for me to unpack, the dog died like 2 years ago, felt guilty for him all this time. I think he got his rest, he hadn't let me pet him for many years, but right before he died he let me hold him and stroke his back. I'm not attracted to dogs or animals in any sense, people online sometimes say "in order to be a furry, you have to have some zoophilia thoughts" and it triggers my trauma from this situation.

whenever i see another girl happier/prettier than me i wish they would die

Whenever there's a water fountain, I'll sometimes divide the cups into two stacks so I can take one from the middle

>>3mtrawfg6uk2h
Like some others in this thread, I'm into kids, but I don't really feel guilty for that. I don't believe that it's a bad inclination, or intrinsically harmful in practice, and I don't feel motivation to pursue involvement with them (I'm sure it would be much worse for me if I were not into adults at all). I think it's sort of a good thing to have a clear and permanent reminder of how pervasive irrational moralistic cruelty is among people.

Things I do feel guilty for: basically every relationship with a girl I've been in that ended or that I really wanted to make work and that ultimately didn't. I always feel like I used her. Sometimes I think about getting back in touch and write a long apology message, but I always decide that sending it would be the selfish thing. I'm talking about multiple girls, so either the pattern is that I blame myself too much, or the pattern is that I actually do mistreat people. I guess this is a vague description. Looking down on someone's viewpoints, leaving or acting out emotionally or cheating when I couldn't get sex, failing to take care of someone financially, thinking I could fix someone…

Other things:
I feel horrible for every time I've let myself justify acting out of anger. I remember when I was a kid throwing a cat that had broken my chess pieces and telling myself it was OK to do that because animals don't have souls. And I feel bad for how naturally lazy I am, how it feels like it takes immense effort for me to do anything for another person (or even myself), whereas some people it seems to come naturally to.

>>3mtygedhjb22x
When I see really skinny girls I imagine snapping them in half like a twig.

>>3mugojit7ik2h
Yeah, I don't personally feel guilty about it most of the time, only times I really do is just rough days looking for ways to feel bad about myself by projecting societal cruelty onto myself.
Maybe this wasn't the right thread for it but it's nice to let something like this out, especially venting my frustrations with the way a huge majority of people seem comfortable completely dehumanizing us, seeming to lose any and all empathy.
I don't think our attraction is an inherently bad thing, and I don't even really believe that 'objective' evil (or 'objective' anything for that matter) exists. It's just another type of attraction, I think the vast majority of us aren't rapists or abusers, actually.
But because of how demonized it is, pushback on the downright fascist sweeping rhetoric people have against the spectre of 'the pedophile' will probably never be accepted on a wide scale without huge change.
I have at least seen an increasing number of online spaces (this could be just my own bias accepting this stuff about myself fairly recently) that seem to understand or at least be more sympathetic to us. (at least, before they are harassed off the platform...)
Yadda yadda yadda disgust holds no ethical weight yadda yadda yadda wisdom of repugnance etc.