seems like you need a bit of thick skin to use social internet to the point of establishing a regular presence as a stable identity, no? how do you do it in these conditions? good opsec? community support? anxiety medication??
what do you think atchan users??
block button + get good at ignoring stuff + dont engage with stuff/people that make you mad on purpose
i think minor opsec hygiene is good, but also - its kinda like if that wall falls it doesn't un-fall. so i personally dont really want to rely on it.
i think a lot of it has to be personal practice like kai said - blocking/ignoring but also just accepting shit is going to happen. not that i'm victim-blaming or anything but you really, really gotta set boundaries with friends, acquaintances, audience
this is why i mostly prefer being a lurker, even though its getting harder and harder to do these days.
besides blocking and setting boundaries, i also think its important to realize that no one is just "themselves" online. being online inherently means constructing a digital ghost version of your real self, an idealized image generated from the accumulation of posts, images, interests, etc. built up under a screenname or visage. this doesn't mean "treat everyone online as a phantom against whom all actions are consequenceless" but it does mean "accept an inherent gulf between the person you are and how others see you online". i don't wanna victim blame either but i feel like trying too hard to bridge that gap is where it's easy to stumble into becoming a spectacle for hate mobs.
I've been here probably too long and this will just get to you at some point. Wherever you go - online is the same as offline - you wear one kind of mask or another, you're bringing the part of you that's the best fit you can manage to the venue. Like this, you go to work, you're you, but you're not gonna say the same stuff you would if you were just with your friends.
So I'd say probably just keep a few things to your physical life you don't bring with you online, something that'll ground you. Something that won't be effected by the internet basically no matter what. When it gets too much to bear here, you can go for a walk or watch birds or something that'll be a comforting thing to you.
The other thing is that you might wanna accept that if you're here long enough, the ambient radiation of the net will sorta just. Cook your brain some. It's okay. People who are not Online won't understand and that's okay too. Some paranoia, anxiety, brainworms come with the territory.
Basic security is like locking the door on your car. Honestly it's just best practices. It won't stop someone who wants in from getting in but it raises the barrier of entry and can buy you some time so it's just good internet hygiene.
And other than that there's just some getting used to that it can be a hostile environment and some people will take shots at you. You don't have to get into arguments, you don't have to answer questions you don't want to. If people become hostile based on rumors and won't listen to you (for example) trying to get them to stick around is a lost cause. So sometimes the bridge will burn and it's not you who did it. Set boundaries and keep them.
being heavyhanded on what kind of things you really want to see is like so important. it gives you so much extra mental hp whenever something that bothers you appears in front of your eyes. like blocking people obviously but also utilising blacklists and muted words helps to reduce the amount of shit you see. even people who post "correct" things i agree with if its about topics that exhaust me why would i want to see that when i could just be enjoying some funny picture or cute girls
sites like tumblr and bsky are so good for me because i have so much control over who i follow and that way i can curate my dash to be only fun art and porn and vn things and memes. the setting that only my followers can comment on my stuff on bsky is a godsent. ill unfollow anyone including my friends if they post things i dont want to see and thats the right approach. i dont fully relate about the way most people complain about their social media/internet experiences since ive set up an environment where i see little of the things i dont want to and it makes me feel like other people just havent been able to take the similar steps i have taken or theyre spending too much time on sites that give algorithmic feeds and all the bullshit drama and bigoted stuff get boosted to create the perfect doomscrolling feedback loop
not that i still dont occasionaly get burnt out and need a break from everything but thats part of it just knowing when its time to take a step back from the noise and focus on just dming with your friends for the time being. thats what touching grass means to me i guess
so yeah ultimately its just true that after a while especially if youre somehow visible online you kinda just get used to the chaos and thats life i suppose. but you dont need to resign yourself to just accepting negative things either, its worth putting the time to optimizing the enjoyment you get out of the internet because its still a wonderful place full of amazing art and people
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